ONE MORE WORD ABOUT THE LAWS OF PHYSICS, KID, AND I WILL DUCT TAPE YOU TO THE WALL ALONG WITH THIS &%^&&ING TREE!!!!

Note:  If we are Facebook friends, the next few weeks might feel a bit... familiar.  This is because I going to be away, and while I am away, I am using my VERY BEST FAVOURITE STORIES from Facebook (and a bit from the old blog)...

 

Christmas Facebook status #1:

Me: and we can decorate for Christmas.

Anthony: YEAAAH!!!!!

Eric: YOU can decorate for Christmas. My contribution will be to sit in the hammock and remind you about the laws of physics. 

He says that every year. Of course, every year stuff falls down. This is because I am an incurable optimist. 

Eric reminds me every year that physics are not responsive to optimism.

Christmas Facebook status #2:

Christmas decorating with the Groot James family:

Eric: this is not going to work.

Me: sure it will. Bring me the drill.

Eric: no.

(Pause)

Eric: I do not bring power tools to people who ignore the laws of physics.

Christmas Facebook status #3:

Eric: The reason this is not going to work is that these are clearly not pieces of the same tree. It will not be possible to assemble them.

Me: Don’t tell me how I can celebrate Christmas. GAAAARRRRYYY! Eric is religiously oppressing me.

Eric: I am not oppressing you. I am merely pointing out the laws of physics.

Me (haughtily): I am a Unitarian Universalist. I do not have to obey the laws of physics. I merely affirm and promote the SUGGESTIONS of physics.

(loud noise)

Eric: I see that all of the stuff over there just fell down.

(pause)

Eric: When you write this on Facebook, please include the part where the lights, the room divider, the chair, and the candle thing-ey all fell down immediately after you said that.

Me: I tells the story I WANTS TO TELL!

(pause)

Me: Yeah, I want to tell that part.